God answered my prayers…

I was just saying the other day to my friend “Either N Train Gossip is working in shaming people to not be gross anymore, or its just my luck that I havent seen anything too weird lately.” And then God gave me THIS, and I knew what the answer was.

This guy full on “fell asleep”, spilled his coconut drink all over the ground. It started moving to other people with bags at their feet. As people were scrambling, our hero thinks on his toes and grabs his other shirt, throws it on the dirty floor, and starts mopping it around with his cane. The whole time saying “its ok its just COCONUT!!!!” over and over. He did this for over 10 minutes. Seriously. Ahhhh… thank you for that, sir. Thank you.

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Unused Shot: Cloverfield Monster!!!!

I was sitting down minding my own business. When all of a sudden this WOMAN sits down next to me and pulls out a fashion magazine. And what I saw next was pure horror. Her hands! I think i may have actually gasped out loud when I saw them. This picture (or any picture, for that matter) will ever do these hands justice. They are BEASTLY hands. All I could think of was that episode of Seinfeld where his date has “man hands”. The only difference was, in that episode they actually used a man for the hand shots. This woman wouldnt have needed that stunt double. She IS the stunt double.

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We need to clear something up…

I get asked this ALL the time. By followers, friends, and even sometimes friends of friends.

Why does it bother you so much when girls do their makeup on the train?

The short answer? It’s rude.
But it’s not so much when girls take out a compact and just do a little touch up or something. It’s when girls full on SET UP SHOP. The concealer goes on. Then some eyeliner. Then some lipstick. CHRIST! What did you do this morning before you left the house?  I don’t want to see you covering up your fucking acne scars 2 feet away from me. It’s gross. And just rude. I don’t brush my teeth and moisturize my face on MY morning commute. So I don’t want to see your bathroom habits on yours. K?

….ps, nice baggy red leather coat and shiny gold bag. epitome of klass.

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Thank you Gothamist…

I have to say that I’ve read, and loved, the gothamist for a long ass time. Way before N Train Gossip even existed.

When I first started NTG, I had about 35 followers. And all of a sudden one day, it jumped up to 80. I thought to myself “how weird”, and really had no idea how, or why, my followers just doubled. When I checked a couple minutes later, it was well over 100. Fast forward to me about an hour later… reading the gothamist as usual. And thats when I saw it. A picture from my twitter! They wrote about my account, and it just blew up from there. That week, 5 other online news sites wrote about it, a twitter account “exposing” me (I use that term loosely because I never have a shit if anyone knew who I was), a follow up article on gothamist, an article in the Daily News, and even a segment on the Channel 7 Eyewitness News!!!

So if gothamist never wrote about N Train Gossip, it would probably still have only 35 followers. So for that, I thank you Jen Carlson. And again today, for another shout out. Let me buy you a beer sometime

Biggest A-hole of the Month

WHAT A DICK!

I’ve actually seen one other person do this in my history of riding the N train. It was years ago when I first moved back to NY. Those were the days when I wasnt as outgoing or so quick to speak up. I’ve learned my lesson, though.

This was actually sent in by a fellow N train rider via our facebook fan page. Apparently they said something to him, and he just started a fight with them. But honestly… at what point in someones mind do they find it ok to just chew on sunflower seeds and throw all their shells on the ground? Its bad enough when people leave newspapers all over the train when theyre done instead of just taking it 5 extra feet to the trash. But at least they have the excuse that they were leaving it for another commuter to read. Youre not leaving your shells for someone else to use. Youre basically making someone else clean up after you. Are you THAT self involved that you just throw your trash all over the ground expecting others to clean it? Apparently.

So for that, sir… you are deemed N Train Gossip’s very first A-Hole of the Month (possibly even of the year). So, congratulations. You are one of the trashiest people I’ve seen on the train. And thats saying a lot.

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Easy way to get 2nd degree burns…

I see people eat food on the train all the time. And I find it repulsive. Not because you’re eating in a public place. People do that all the time. But you’re in a shared and enclosed place with other commuters. The train is already full of odors. Do I really need to smell your gross food too?

Not to mention… GERMS!!! Do these eaters forget that there are foul people smearing their DNA all over the seats and poles? I think I’ve posted enough of those for you to get the idea. But THIS? Slurping hot soup? On a moving train? Filling your mouth with so much that you can barely fit it all? All it takes is one newbie conductor to press a little too hard on the break (or a funny penis joke) and BLAM… hot soup all over you and/or your sleeping neighbor.

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Rider Entry: Perv

Our Rider Entry today is thanks to @JMcNamara78. There are just too many things to write about this picture. I dont even know where to start. How about those yellow flip glasses? Just those alone would be worthy of an N Train Gossip entry. But then you throw in the lingerie mag he is reading, the huge bulge in his pants from the lingerie mag, and the fact that he isnt wearing any shoes- and its almost too much to handle. I mean… he is DEEP into that magazine. And clearly has no problem showing his excitement for it either. But hey… at least he figured out how to get his very own seat on the N train.

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N Train Gossip: Now in the Book of Faces

It should have happened a long time ago, but N Train Gossip finally has a facebook fan page. Its a great one stop page for everything N Train Gossip. View the twitter feed, this blog, and contribute to N Train Gossip by uploading a picture right to our wall!

facebook.com/ntraingossip

Identity Theft Made Easy

I don’t know who is the bigger asshole here. The man for fully opening up his laptop and just getting to work. Or the guy who stared at his screen without blinking for like 10 whole minutes. Lets face it… people are nosey on the train. Don’t believe me? Then check out this guy. So who’s the bigger dick? The guy who is blatantly reading and examining every single word of someone else’s bidniz? Or is it the guy who sets up his own personal office for all of NY to view at their own leisure?